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melanie

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it`s true buddy. [May. 25th, 2006|11:54 pm]
melanie
[Current Location |casa]
[mood |awakeawake]
[music |you and me -Lifehouse]

1. list ten things you want to say to people but know you never will.
2. don't say who they are.
3. never discuss it again.

1. Go ahead and smother yourself with your huge ass ego. You know you loved me too. You know you always wanted to hold my hand but you didn`t have the balls to show that fuckin weakness. You really did waste a lot of my time and even though you will always be my first and so far love...baby, it`s too easy to play these games.

2.You are totally my fuckin hero. But, It`s not that hard to let go. I don`t understand why you don`t just deal with the cards you are dealt. I`d like to take you somewhere beautiful and show you that there`s a lot more light in a different angle. Change a little and let go some more, because at the rate you`re going, nothing will satisfy you in the end.

3. I seriously love you. Not like that, but you know what i mean. You are the greatest influence I`ve ever had in my life. You make sense of every situation and when I`m confused you clear the way. It`s very very nice to talk to you about anything because I know that your answers will always sooth the situation.

4. Okay, I don`t hate you. I envy you. You hate me and I know that much. There are so many things about you that I wish I had. Your strength, your perfect qualities, and your desire to be someone. I really admire your confidence...the confidence that you should really use against the weak son of a bitch that you`re dating. I can definitely see you getting far...drop the baggage, he`s a waste of time.

5. Our past is totally ran over and shot to hell. I`ll never forget the crazy shit we pulled and the drama we started. We were the ultimate duo and that shit will never die. I`ll always be here for you but you have to understand that life brings you through many stages. Drugs are shitty fuckin phases that you honestly need to let pass. You are so fucking beautiful and I can see it in the jealous eyes of everyone around you. Use your beauty and use your brains because you are the only one I actually WANT to be better than me.

6. I`ve known you for my whole fucking life. I love you to death and I respect anything you do. I would really appreciate it if you would consider the circumstances of every situation because when you jump to answers...you might end up in a hole deeper than the one you`re already standing in. I`ll always be 100% behind your back because that`s how we roll. I just think after a little tune-up you will be A-Ok. Don`t sweat the small stuff.

7. You are amazing. You really are a good kid. I really really enjoy listening to you. For some reason, you are one of the many human beings I can listen to for over 5 minutes and stay entertained. Your company brings me excitement that I really can never explain. Unfortunately, we might be on different pages. I accept your thoughts and feelings and I completely respect your opinions. I am not as ready as I seem to be on the inside. You are definitely good for me. Stick around, please.

8. You are my favorite/craziest/funniest mother fucking friend in this whole world. You bring out my major giggles. You are sweet and extremely down to earth. You don`t give a fuck what people think and that`s what I love about you. Even though at times you let your weaknesses get the best of you, I have no problem being there for you. Your comfort is also greatly appreciated considering the amount of times we have been mobbin deep together. Even though we haven`t known eachother for a full year yet, I feel like i`ve known you forever. I just wish you would overcome the obstacles from the past. You can`t let anything obstruct your dreams because you can definitely make it. Get your head on straight and keep it that way.

9. Thick and Thin and everything else. Since day one I have loved the companionship you provide. You are definitely the brother I never had. I love how much we understand eachother, and I also love how much we argue. We are like a married couple that lost it`s spark. Recently, things have jumped onto a different track and things are changing. I`m not quite sure what to think of your thoughts, but I`ll make sure to tell you what I think ;)

10. Last, but certainly NOT least...you. You`re a keeper. You struggled enough to stick around and deal with all my shit. Thank god you understand me. Sometimes I feel like no one can. Thank you for being such a sport. There`s only one thing you need to do, Stop Lying to your friends. We know when you lie and I don`t understand why you avoid the truth. We love you for who you are and there`s nothing else to it. There are so many words falling out of your mouth, and I wish I knew which statements to believe. I want you to know that your insecurities are safe with us. By the way, Get rid of that girl, she`s way too screech screech for you. There`s too many things right in front of you, try grabbing whatever you can reach.
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dear mr.toilet, im the shit. [May. 10th, 2006|09:29 pm]
melanie
[Current Location |casa]
[mood |curiouscurious]
[music |drops of jupiter~Train]

There comes a point in everyone`s life when you are forced to leave the ones you love behind.
No matter how much something or someone can mean to you, you have to let go.
Am I right?

Whether or not that person returns... is the key.
To love and let go, is the ultimate power.
To be able to love with all your heart and release every aspect of that love....is inner strength.
Definitely hard to come by, but definitely worth it.
Am I right?

I`ve come to realize that the hardest times in life, is knowing that what you love....whether its the boy in your bed or the best friend or the mom that owns your heart or the angel you used to trust, ALWAYS disappears.
Am I right?

Although, having stated the negative aspects, the enlightenment in it all is when the love comes back for you.
When you open the door and squeeze the boy you haven`t seen in 5 years.
When you jump out your car in the middle of an intersection because you see your old best friend in the other lane.
When you stop an elevator to make out with the hottie that had no clue you dreamt about him every night.
EVEN, when you embrace the woman that was never physically there....but always cared.

Am I right?
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drunk post. [May. 3rd, 2006|12:46 am]
melanie
[Current Location |home nigga.]
[mood |contentcontent]
[music |ridin~ chamillionaire]

i know im drunk but i dont give a fuckk.

love is so fucking powerful.
love defeats all, even the best of friends
do or die, down to ride.
no matter what, when your in love nothing else matters.
love can make you see places in new ways.
love can make you lose words for things you used to define.
love can make you shake and lose balance.
when you are in love, nothing else matters.

if your best friend wants to chill, love comes first.
when you are in a city faraway, love can take you home.
when your in trouble with no way out, love finds a way.
escaping love is impossible, but trying is a point.

nothing matters in this world when your in love.
understand or disagree.
age is not an issue and i fuckin hate when people say that.
there is no age to reach the fullfillment of finding someone amazing.
i love you, and the day you find out, is the day i pray.
i pray for the future between us.
bitches will come and go but when you notice that i have been on the sidelines of all your games, you`ll realize that i was there all along.

don`t front, there`s nothing to hide.
i know your favorite shirt and your favorite song.
this love will never die.
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(no subject) [Apr. 24th, 2006|12:32 pm]
melanie
if anyone on livejournal is still alive.....


what's up?
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(no subject) [Apr. 9th, 2006|12:36 am]
melanie
[mood |awakeawake]
[music |lean with it]

tonight was soo fun.
secret times & warm beer.
stickshift & loud speakers.


i`m diggen it bro.
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im fuckin economical. [Mar. 31st, 2006|12:32 am]
melanie
.that way never seemed so nice.
the first path i took was an old muddy road consisting of overgrown nature and noisy insects humming through the air...this road was my favorite choice because I couldn`t exactly make out what was behind the bend, but not knowing is soo much better than seeing things clearly. This soddy road took me to a dead end enveloped in a rickety cracked picket fence. I turned back just in time to beat the sundown...treading back over the debris and swampgrounds I trekked across earlier. My time was consumed by the new sights I discovered on the way back, I never noticed the fallen tree or the dead rabbit laying on the shaven stump of a huge oak tree, and I certainly didn`t notice that beatiful bush of flowers that seemed unusually ripe and refreshing compared to the deathly baren trees around it. I realized that I had a decision to make: I either continue back to return on the main road and take the second route that I never discovered, OR i can deal with the path I took and understand that what you choose in life is what you get in life, whether you regret your decisions or not, it`s what you chose. You never know, if you look at the world with a different eye, you can ALWAYS find something new.something beautiful.
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(no subject) [Mar. 21st, 2006|12:16 am]
melanie
it seems like forever i`ve been waiting.
ready set go for it all.
if a rose could settle all this pain i`d tell you to hand it over.
your smile is my weakness
ready set get away from me.

the early bird caught the worm
and the fuckin chance is gone.
Maybe one day you`ll look in the mirror
and you`ll notice that we were so obviously meant to be.

i hate her guts and her fake little smile
she`s everything you dream of.
she loves the way you act and your dull smell.
i love your morning hair and when your voice cracks.

love has no value, hatred has its depths.
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nothing ever lasts forever [Mar. 8th, 2006|12:48 pm]
melanie
[mood |sadsad]
[music |nothing]

it`s a shame to know that the finer things in life never last.
all flowers die and all children grow up.
There is a point in life when you have to change your ways. You have to do things differently and learn to love in other ways or else you`ll be stuck in your own repetition.
You`ll never realize who you are supposed to become.
As I watched you grow with me, we struggled through tough times but we always got through them. We showed love when it was needed and we cared for eachother even though we always fought.
I watched you leave your cocoon to become this beautiful butterfly that God planned for you to be.
You fluttered past the beautiful world in chance of landing somewhere pleasant enough to retire earlier than the journey you had planned.
What you missed was what you`ll never have back. Memories, experiences, love, hate, drama, problems, friendships, and most important, Life.
So now I see you leave your tree that you know so well. It`s safety & security, but every tree burns down.
You backtrack over the city that you know nothing about, and regret never stopping in.
So land, beautiful Ally, take your time and breath deeply because this is your last chance to be the person you never knew you could be.

I love you more than any person on this Earth.
-Melanie
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(no subject) [Jan. 30th, 2006|08:34 pm]
melanie
[mood |artisticartistic]
[music |where`d you go~ Fort Minor]

Well... as of today there hasn`t been much going on besides the fact that new ideas and opportunities are sprouting up everywhere.
I guess this is the "getting older" feeling.
Haven`t really had the time on my hands to continue my writing... I kind of dead ended my really great story in a depressing way. Ever since I checked out of El Camino I feel like there is a lot more important things I could be doing with my spare time.... Important usually turns into smoking cigarettes, eating, and listening to music too loud in my car.
I really want to start doing something extracurricular.... maybe boxing? ew, that`s kind of weird though considering I`m smaller than the world. Who knows, maybe I could become The Million Dollar baby...and win some cool shit. Maybe I could start Fencing... Oh god, I`d have way too much fun with that.
As for the romance, not really anyone interesting enough to take the time to even try.
I was looking at my old entries last night, as far as july '04 and I was soooo different. I jumped from guy to guy but I always loved only one. So cute.

Friends are doing good, weekends are going great, Homeschool is actually a lot more intense and exciting than I expected. I really do learn a lot and it`s a really neat experience.
Well I`m hungry so I`m going to make waffles.

Peace out.
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new piercing! [Jan. 23rd, 2006|08:38 pm]
melanie
[mood |soresore]
[music |nothin]

i got it.
Image hosting by Photobucket
Image hosting by Photobucket
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